When people are talking about forgiveness, they often say: easy to say, hard to do. Well, that is especially true when someone hurt you so bad that is it painful to even think about it. In the Bible, it is said to forgive seventy seven times seven which means that you have to forgive everytime.
Well, let me tell you that forgiveness is the best cure against emotional wounds. When someone hurt your feelings, it automatically create a negative effect on your well-being, you feel shocked, disappointed, angry, sad, and you might end up depressed. So how can forgiving someone who hurt you so bad can be a relief?
When I was younger, I have dealt with grief and anger toward someone close to me. That person would tell me things that was hard to swallow for the child that I was. I would end up crying all the times.
It took me years to understand that this person was dealing with emotional wounds that he wasn’t aware of.
Then, I decided that no one would ever make me cry again. But before, I had to forgive. During that period, I found a book that was really helpful. It taught me that I had to return all the bad that this person had caused. I had to return the anger, the hate, the guilt, the disappointment. And it had to be symbolic.
So I said: Dear…, I’m giving you back all the anger, the sadness, the hate, the guilt that you caused me. I don’t want to live with them anymore.
But I had to talk to that person to make it clear. I did, he apologized with no conviction but…I was free.
At first, some episodes were coming back but I trusted time to heal me. Now, I do remember but they never came back to haunt me because I did not give them more importance than they had.
Forgiving had improved the relation I had with that person. It helped me understand that I wasn’t guilty in any way but that I shouldn’t let people own emotional problems affect me. I had also understand that what people tells you have the importance that you give them.
Now I’m weighing the decision that I took. It was one of the best decision I have made. I cannot afford to be angry at someone all of my life. It takes time and energy, it takes away your sleep and peace of mind and it even ruins your health. I’m sorry, this is too much to spend on one person.
When I am down, I turn to the great emotional healer of all times: God.
In sorrow, there is a great song I listen to : I look to you by Whitney Houston.