The Church Girl Demystified

Have you ever experienced this embarrassing moment where something fun is going to happen and they ask you whether you want to participate and someone says: Nah, she is a “church girl”. It might not be the exact term but something like: she is not that kind of person; she is not interested (i.e. interesting) and so on. Well, I had my share of “church girl” moments.

And one of them happened recently where gathered with a small group of people, someone mention the term “church girl” popped up ( referring to me), saying that there are certain things that I wouldn’t do and certain places I wouldn’t go.

You might honestly think: what’s wrong with that?! So let me tell you the real characteristics of the church girl:

–          You never dress sexy ( i.e. You are not interesting because you never show some more skin)

–          I know you are not interested to go to that party ( i.e. you are boring, you don’t know how to have fun)

–          Don’t talk that kind of stuff in front of her (i.e. you’ve been so sheltered that our conversations will shock you and therefore you will make us feel uncomfortable)

–          You are too prude ( i.e. you should get your freak on sometimes)

–          You don’t drink beer?! (i.e. you’re antisocial)

So now that I’ve told you the characteristics of the church girl, so according to this here is a definition: she is a Christian, a very spiritual person and she avoids the world’s pleasures (and that includes having fun with friends, going to a good concert, to the beach, talk about sex (Oh My! That’s a sin!))

I have also realized that most church girls are like me: introverts. To illustrate this, I remember during a class, there was this girl that was making her friends laugh so much and one of her friend said: And you’re supposed to be a church girl? (meaning: you’re too funny to be a church girl)

People assimilate someone who is spiritual with someone who is introvert, which is not true because the church is comprised of every type of people: introverts, extroverts and ambiverts.

I usually smile when people call me a church girl, sometimes, I’m tempted to tell them that they are completely missing the point but I always give up. Other times, I think they are being rude, because it’s like you’re being banned from a conversation because your “ears are too prude”.

Some might think that is ok because everyone knows you are different and as a Christian you SHOULD be different, you should stand above the crowd, and I agree with this. But this label has negative connotations because people consider you as antisocial, of course we do not belong to this world but we’re living in it, and most of the time , people  don’t take the time to know the real you because you have been labeled already, so what’s left to know?

One thing I know is that I’m proud of being a Christian, I’m proud to be called daughter of the Most High God, and this has nothing to see with my social ability to interact with people.  This makes me think that people usually don’t see further than the tip of their nose, unfortunately.

People need to understand that spirituality doesn’t mean confinement, boredom or seclusion; on the contrary, worshipers of God should be most of times joyful. Of course, Christianity always aspire to simplicity in life but that doesn’t exclude joy, happiness, fun, and interesting interactions.

People should not stereotype others because they are different, or because they don’t share the same point of view or they don’t have the same beliefs and values or because they do not fit in your circle.

Have you ever in been in such situation where you have been called a “church girl” or the like? How did you feel about it? How did you respond?



8 thoughts on “The Church Girl Demystified

  1. You are truly superb at articulating your thoughts. I feel like I’m reading MY thoughts through YOUR writing, lol. The sentence that resonated most with me was “I’m tempted to tell them they’re completely missing the point,”. My Myers-Briggs type is ENFJ (it’s my MISSION to be a catalyst of change in other people’s lives and to be a servant to them), so I always have this ridiculous urge to open others’ eyes when I feel judged for my faith. As I mentioned in another comment on your blog, I totally agree with you that Christianity is precisely the opposite of confinement, boredom, or seclusion, and it distresses me to learn that many of my peers view Christian spirituality in that way.Yes, it requires a great deal of discipline and yes, you’re going to mess up sometimes ,which will require a great deal of spiritual and emotional strength–But, having discipline, which promotes personal growth, a greater sense self-worth and a perpetual “can-do” attitude, and long-term happiness (vs. short-term pleasure), and having God as a life-long friend,father, and even cheerleader is, indeed, incredibly joyful.

    Thanks again for sharing your thoughts. It’s really nice to know I can relate to someone out there!(maybe that means I need new friends, haha)

    1. Hello Hannah, I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one who had some “church girl moments”; I feel less of an alien now. 🙂
      I understand your feelings about living as a Christian but “we can do all things through Christ who strengthen us”.
      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. It is really appreciated!

    1. Hello! I’m glad that post resonated with you as well! Yes, feel free to share it! Thanks for stopping by!
      You have a nice blog btw!

  2. Thank you for this “ate” (Filipino term for big sister), I am inspired all the more to be proud of being a church girl! Young as I am, I have friends who don’t share the same belief as me and they respect me with that. But when there’s a friendship getaway, they sometimes tease me and even tempt me to do things that are far beyond my standards and boundaries. As they labeled me being a “Church Girl” they keep on saying “C’mon, she’s kill joy though because of her “church girl” thingy. I just don’t mind them and just be firm with my faith in God. I am happily reading your blog post and I so love it! Thank you for this ate! Best regards!

    1. Thank you for your sincere comment. It’s one of the aspect of our christian walk. Not anybody will understand our standards and boundaries. We just need to remember that obedience to God is far better than being a people pleaser. And one day, you’ll realize that your impact on these friends was far greater than you thought as God might be using you to be a good influence for them. Stay blessed! ❤

  3. Thanks a lot for this post….I was literally online searching for who a “church girl” is cos I’ve always been called that. I thought there was more to it than I knew. But u’ve made me realize that it’s okay to stand up for who I am.

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