Be strong now!

Silhouette Of Woman Jumping Against Sky

Don’t wait until something bad happen, Be Strong Now!

Don’t wait until someone dies, Be Strong Now!

Don’t wait until there is no way out, Be Strong Now!

Don’t wait until that particular deadline, Be Strong Now!

Don’t wait until that specific age, Be Strong Now!

Don’t wait on that particular person, Be Strong Now!

Don’t wait on that coveted status, Be Strong Now!

Don’t wait until you gain that knowledge, Be Strong Now!

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Don’t wait for acceptance, Be Strong Now!

Don’t wait until you feel like it, Be Strong Now!

Don’t dwell on self-pity, Be Strong Now!

Don’t listen to your fears, Be Strong NOW!

Now!

Yes, this second!

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I believe in…

I never really thought about my convictions even though I knew what my religious convictions are; I always thought every other thing would stem from there. But as the values of the world are evolving, and we are faced everyday with new social challenges, I ask myself: what are my true convictions, what would I fight against, what does truly matters for me and what don’t, if was facing a dilemma, what option would I choose and why?black-woman-thinking

 

I realized that it is important to know now than facing a situation where you are totally confused. The danger in not knowing is that you start to embrace the convictions of others which are not necessarily yours, maybe it’s your parents, your friends or colleagues’ but it’s not yours. Having your own convictions began by challenging what you already know and see if fits with you current values. I say current because this might change over time, as you grow older or getting more maturity.

 

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So, my goal now is know what my true convictions are. This is going to be interesting because, I love to have my own opinions about things, I want to know myself better and learn how to fight for what I believe in. That doesn’t mean that I am not open to others opinions, I am, because I love to learn from others.

 

What are your convictions? What do you think it’s worth fighting for?

 

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When enjoying the moment is more important

As I was preparing for a wedding, I noticed I didn’t mind leaving my camera at home. A year ago, I wouldn’t have left home without it, feeling that I had to capture every moment. The pictures I took during social events are located somewhere on my laptop and most of them I don’t need. So, why did I take them in the first place?

Well, to be honest I’d say it was to do as everyone else. To show others there were things going on in my live. But as some point, I felt overwhelmed.

Because if I didn’t bring my camera, it was like I was not part of the event and this prevented me to “be there” each time. I was too busy taking pictures rather than living and enjoying the moment.

And secondly, I had to always make sure that I looked flawless in those pictures because, of course, I’d be posting them on those famous social networks. And I hated that because it made me feel self-conscious.

Ever since I’m not following this trend, I’m able to enjoy each moment and I don’t feel like I need the world to know about it.

I do take a few pictures that are really meaningful to me and which do not have the sole purpose of showing my new dress or that I have been to Mrs. or Mr. X party.

 

Have you ever felt pressured to follow social trends?

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Be his fantasy…

Recently, I overheard a conversation where a man told a girl that one of his friend was “dreaming about her”, the girl seemed pleasantly surprised but said “that is not appropriate”. Another man who was present said: “On the contrary, that is a good thing. you are his fantasy. You should be proud about it because you are saving this guy marriage. If he cannot go through with his wife, he’ll think about you.” It seemed something very funny because everyone laughed.

I did give it some thought and said to myself, this is not normal. But who am I to define normal? With all sexual tendencies in the world, all kinds of depravity, what is normal? Well let’s just imagine we are in a “normal” world.

So, here we have a girl who has sensual power over a man, a man who is fantasizing about another woman and…the poor wife. Yes, the poor wife, the third wheel of the carriage. Poor wife, because while her man may not be adulterous, he is dreaming about another woman, which is practically…the same thing.

So at this point, people will start telling me that it’s ok for men to fantasize about other woman, that women does it too, for example when they see Ryan Gosling’ sexy abs.

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No comment

Why it is so difficult for men (especially) to stay attracted to their wife?  Marriage should not be based on physical attraction SOLELY but I believe it’s a MUST to be aroused by your husband or wife. Because if each time you are making love, he or she has to think about someone else to heat things up, we have a problem here.

Men fails to see their wife as their mistress, because a mistress is like the forbidden fruit, it’s tempting, delicious and exciting. So Wife, why not try to be your husband mistress?

Your husband should be impatient to return home to literally crawl in your arms, not thinking about this hot girl in the office  he would like to….

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Why be ashamed of going wild with him because last time we checked, you are married meaning you have the legal right to do whatever you feel like doing. If a mistress is willing to make him feel good in-any-possible-ways she can think of, why not you?

Why not surprise him with that sexy negligee so his jaw will drop? Why not take this warm bubble bath with him after a hectic day of work? Why not share your fantasies with each other? Men should encourage their wife to be intimate with them, to share their true feeling. Why your wife should be the boring daily meal and your mistress the exotic cocktail or delicious dessert?

Women, claim your right to be your husband mistress. Show that man you can surprise him beyond his expectations. Be your husband fantasy!

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The Church Girl Demystified

Have you ever experienced this embarrassing moment where something fun is going to happen and they ask you whether you want to participate and someone says: Nah, she is a “church girl”. It might not be the exact term but something like: she is not that kind of person; she is not interested (i.e. interesting) and so on. Well, I had my share of “church girl” moments.

And one of them happened recently where gathered with a small group of people, someone mention the term “church girl” popped up ( referring to me), saying that there are certain things that I wouldn’t do and certain places I wouldn’t go.

You might honestly think: what’s wrong with that?! So let me tell you the real characteristics of the church girl:

–          You never dress sexy ( i.e. You are not interesting because you never show some more skin)

–          I know you are not interested to go to that party ( i.e. you are boring, you don’t know how to have fun)

–          Don’t talk that kind of stuff in front of her (i.e. you’ve been so sheltered that our conversations will shock you and therefore you will make us feel uncomfortable)

–          You are too prude ( i.e. you should get your freak on sometimes)

–          You don’t drink beer?! (i.e. you’re antisocial)

So now that I’ve told you the characteristics of the church girl, so according to this here is a definition: she is a Christian, a very spiritual person and she avoids the world’s pleasures (and that includes having fun with friends, going to a good concert, to the beach, talk about sex (Oh My! That’s a sin!))

I have also realized that most church girls are like me: introverts. To illustrate this, I remember during a class, there was this girl that was making her friends laugh so much and one of her friend said: And you’re supposed to be a church girl? (meaning: you’re too funny to be a church girl)

People assimilate someone who is spiritual with someone who is introvert, which is not true because the church is comprised of every type of people: introverts, extroverts and ambiverts.

I usually smile when people call me a church girl, sometimes, I’m tempted to tell them that they are completely missing the point but I always give up. Other times, I think they are being rude, because it’s like you’re being banned from a conversation because your “ears are too prude”.

Some might think that is ok because everyone knows you are different and as a Christian you SHOULD be different, you should stand above the crowd, and I agree with this. But this label has negative connotations because people consider you as antisocial, of course we do not belong to this world but we’re living in it, and most of the time , people  don’t take the time to know the real you because you have been labeled already, so what’s left to know?

One thing I know is that I’m proud of being a Christian, I’m proud to be called daughter of the Most High God, and this has nothing to see with my social ability to interact with people.  This makes me think that people usually don’t see further than the tip of their nose, unfortunately.

People need to understand that spirituality doesn’t mean confinement, boredom or seclusion; on the contrary, worshipers of God should be most of times joyful. Of course, Christianity always aspire to simplicity in life but that doesn’t exclude joy, happiness, fun, and interesting interactions.

People should not stereotype others because they are different, or because they don’t share the same point of view or they don’t have the same beliefs and values or because they do not fit in your circle.

Have you ever in been in such situation where you have been called a “church girl” or the like? How did you feel about it? How did you respond?

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Seek the wisdom of God

Lately, I’ve been very discontent with my life. The thoughts that were crossing my mind were: “I hate this life”, “I’m tired of this”, “I wish I could be elsewhere” and so on… Why was I so bitter?

Source: Google Image
Source: Google Image

And it came clear to me. I failed to rest my soul on God. I failed to come to Him in prayer, to worship Him, so I ended up complaining about anything that wasn’t going well.

I feel like I’m dwelling in the same spot, and everytime this happen, it’s like God is telling me: My dear child, you are not moving at all, I want to help you not being stuck where you are but you just won’t let me.  And the biggest mistake you could make is believing you can do everything without relying on My Strength.

There are countless self-help books out there showing you how to be the best you but I’m telling you, you are your best you only through Christ. Only Him can make the necessary changes in your life.

Nowadays, everyone is its own god.  Everyone is creating their own beliefs, moving away than ever from God’s authority. Do not make this mistake. The world wisdom is not God’s wisdom. The world wisdom is fleeting but God’s wisdom is eternal.

Source: Google Image
Source: Google Image

 

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A Giant Leap of Faith

There are times, in your relationship with God, you have to take a leap of faith.

God is faithful, He always keeps his promises. So when He says I am going do something, He will do it, no matter how much time it takes.

In the meantime, you might have two enemies: doubt and desperation.

When you see that time is passing by and nothing is happening, this is when you start to doubt, when you doubt, you start having a negative mind set, and then you start losing faith in the promise.

The second thing is desperation. Do not become desperate. Things might not happen when you expected it to but God has an amazing plan for your life and you should trust Him no matter what.

God might want to test your faith, so you must at all time believe He can. Take a giant leap of feat in your life. Let God do it His own way.

God is the God of Possible.  In Him, there is no disappointment.

Stay blessed!

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Give Him your All

I was talking to my mom today about God’s blessings for my life and she told me: He can do more, what don’t you to let go to Him?

What don’t you let go to Him? That phrase got stuck in my head because I realize that I was not giving God my all.

Even though I am trying to become closer to Him each day, trying to pray more often, I do not give everything.

God do not want a part of me, He wants my all, He wants me to surrender to Him, He wants my problems to become His, He wants to carry my burdens, to erase my doubts. But how He is going to do that if I am keeping things to myself?

He is not going to force me to give up everything, instead He wants it to be a personal act, a free offering of myself, the same way Jesus offered himself on the cross. Jesus was not forced, He had the choice, he might have choose to let us die in our sins, but He didn’t, he cared enough to give his all.

Today, I urge you to give your all to God. It’s not going to happen in one day, as we have learned to live by counting solely upon ourselves. But if God wants to carry all my burden, why hold back? Does society have more to offer? If his plan for my life is far better than my greatest objectives, why hesitate?

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,  to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”

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Be yourself, everyone else is taken. (Dr. Seuss)

Have you ever wanted to do something crazy, might be a simple thing but unusual?  Have you ever woke up one day and wanted it to be nothing but a normal day?  Wake up and instead of going to work, just pack some clothes and spend the day away?  Well, this is exactly the state I am in.

How many times have I broke the rules?  How many times have I listened to the wild child that lies within me? Not often. I had always been living by the rules because everything had to be straight, nothing fancy or unusual.  I’ve been doing the same thing every single day and now the child in me is getting rebellious.

Sometimes, I wake up and I don’t want to look like the average  young corporate employee, because this exactly how I look.  I am not trying to be someone else, I just want to be me. But I have been so into the rules that somehow I have lost track of who I really am.  I am not in a identity crisis but on a journey of self-discovering. The fact is I have always been doing what I was told but never done what I wanted to do.

I am so used to being that correct type of person that anything unusual that I would do would immediately be analysed by my peers.  Of course, they will try to find solutions to my “problem”, giving me advices on what they think would help.  But what  matters is who I really want to be. Will I choose to live by correctness or choose the spontaneous life that I am seeking for?  

Today I choose to be Me (My journey to being assertive)

As far as I remember, I always had hard times saying no to people. Part of it because I always wanted to please everyone but mostly because I am a submissive type of person.

I would try to please my parents by accepting everything they wanted for me because it was for “my own good”, my friends because I wanted to be accepted by them.

My education made it worse because I was raised with the knowledge that saying no was not convenient and one should always be nice to people. Failing to do so was considered as rebellious, so I started being nice to everyone. The result was me turning unto a nice zombie, always pleasing people and forgetting about my own needs.

That made me lose sight of my desires or what I truly wanted because I spent so little time thinking about it.

According to Dr. Robert A Rohm Ph.D. book Positive Personality Profiles, the  Supportive type ( that is me) is ” reserved, people-oriented individual will enjoy relationships, helping or supporting other people and working together as a team.” they are also : steady, stable, supportive, sweet (awww) but submissive and shy.

Positive Personality Profiles by Dr. Robert A. Rohm, Ph.D.

It’s the submissive part that is annoying because according to Dr. Rohm’s book, because of  their lack of assertivity, submissive people tend to get into trouble because they cannot say no. 

This can be a struggle when you are fighting between what you truly want and your desire to please others.

But nowadays, there are countless materials that can help you learn how to be assertive, confident and positive about yourself. It is very important to also learn how to work on your flaws in order to transform them into strenghts. It is exciting to get to know who you really are especially when you have been buried under shyness and low self-esteem.

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 It is ok to be different from others, to have different point of views, different tastes, different goals. In fact, this is what makes that world bearable : our own diversity.