Have you ever experienced this embarrassing moment where something fun is going to happen and they ask you whether you want to participate and someone says: Nah, she is a “church girl”. It might not be the exact term but something like: she is not that kind of person; she is not interested (i.e. interesting) and so on. Well, I had my share of “church girl” moments.
And one of them happened recently where gathered with a small group of people, someone mention the term “church girl” popped up ( referring to me), saying that there are certain things that I wouldn’t do and certain places I wouldn’t go.
You might honestly think: what’s wrong with that?! So let me tell you the real characteristics of the church girl:
– You never dress sexy ( i.e. You are not interesting because you never show some more skin)
– I know you are not interested to go to that party ( i.e. you are boring, you don’t know how to have fun)
– Don’t talk that kind of stuff in front of her (i.e. you’ve been so sheltered that our conversations will shock you and therefore you will make us feel uncomfortable)
– You are too prude ( i.e. you should get your freak on sometimes)
– You don’t drink beer?! (i.e. you’re antisocial)
So now that I’ve told you the characteristics of the church girl, so according to this here is a definition: she is a Christian, a very spiritual person and she avoids the world’s pleasures (and that includes having fun with friends, going to a good concert, to the beach, talk about sex (Oh My! That’s a sin!))
I have also realized that most church girls are like me: introverts. To illustrate this, I remember during a class, there was this girl that was making her friends laugh so much and one of her friend said: And you’re supposed to be a church girl? (meaning: you’re too funny to be a church girl)
People assimilate someone who is spiritual with someone who is introvert, which is not true because the church is comprised of every type of people: introverts, extroverts and ambiverts.
I usually smile when people call me a church girl, sometimes, I’m tempted to tell them that they are completely missing the point but I always give up. Other times, I think they are being rude, because it’s like you’re being banned from a conversation because your “ears are too prude”.
Some might think that is ok because everyone knows you are different and as a Christian you SHOULD be different, you should stand above the crowd, and I agree with this. But this label has negative connotations because people consider you as antisocial, of course we do not belong to this world but we’re living in it, and most of the time , people don’t take the time to know the real you because you have been labeled already, so what’s left to know?
One thing I know is that I’m proud of being a Christian, I’m proud to be called daughter of the Most High God, and this has nothing to see with my social ability to interact with people. This makes me think that people usually don’t see further than the tip of their nose, unfortunately.
People need to understand that spirituality doesn’t mean confinement, boredom or seclusion; on the contrary, worshipers of God should be most of times joyful. Of course, Christianity always aspire to simplicity in life but that doesn’t exclude joy, happiness, fun, and interesting interactions.
People should not stereotype others because they are different, or because they don’t share the same point of view or they don’t have the same beliefs and values or because they do not fit in your circle.
Have you ever in been in such situation where you have been called a “church girl” or the like? How did you feel about it? How did you respond?