The Church Girl Demystified

Have you ever experienced this embarrassing moment where something fun is going to happen and they ask you whether you want to participate and someone says: Nah, she is a “church girl”. It might not be the exact term but something like: she is not that kind of person; she is not interested (i.e. interesting) and so on. Well, I had my share of “church girl” moments.

And one of them happened recently where gathered with a small group of people, someone mention the term “church girl” popped up ( referring to me), saying that there are certain things that I wouldn’t do and certain places I wouldn’t go.

You might honestly think: what’s wrong with that?! So let me tell you the real characteristics of the church girl:

–          You never dress sexy ( i.e. You are not interesting because you never show some more skin)

–          I know you are not interested to go to that party ( i.e. you are boring, you don’t know how to have fun)

–          Don’t talk that kind of stuff in front of her (i.e. you’ve been so sheltered that our conversations will shock you and therefore you will make us feel uncomfortable)

–          You are too prude ( i.e. you should get your freak on sometimes)

–          You don’t drink beer?! (i.e. you’re antisocial)

So now that I’ve told you the characteristics of the church girl, so according to this here is a definition: she is a Christian, a very spiritual person and she avoids the world’s pleasures (and that includes having fun with friends, going to a good concert, to the beach, talk about sex (Oh My! That’s a sin!))

I have also realized that most church girls are like me: introverts. To illustrate this, I remember during a class, there was this girl that was making her friends laugh so much and one of her friend said: And you’re supposed to be a church girl? (meaning: you’re too funny to be a church girl)

People assimilate someone who is spiritual with someone who is introvert, which is not true because the church is comprised of every type of people: introverts, extroverts and ambiverts.

I usually smile when people call me a church girl, sometimes, I’m tempted to tell them that they are completely missing the point but I always give up. Other times, I think they are being rude, because it’s like you’re being banned from a conversation because your “ears are too prude”.

Some might think that is ok because everyone knows you are different and as a Christian you SHOULD be different, you should stand above the crowd, and I agree with this. But this label has negative connotations because people consider you as antisocial, of course we do not belong to this world but we’re living in it, and most of the time , people  don’t take the time to know the real you because you have been labeled already, so what’s left to know?

One thing I know is that I’m proud of being a Christian, I’m proud to be called daughter of the Most High God, and this has nothing to see with my social ability to interact with people.  This makes me think that people usually don’t see further than the tip of their nose, unfortunately.

People need to understand that spirituality doesn’t mean confinement, boredom or seclusion; on the contrary, worshipers of God should be most of times joyful. Of course, Christianity always aspire to simplicity in life but that doesn’t exclude joy, happiness, fun, and interesting interactions.

People should not stereotype others because they are different, or because they don’t share the same point of view or they don’t have the same beliefs and values or because they do not fit in your circle.

Have you ever in been in such situation where you have been called a “church girl” or the like? How did you feel about it? How did you respond?



Seek the wisdom of God

Lately, I’ve been very discontent with my life. The thoughts that were crossing my mind were: “I hate this life”, “I’m tired of this”, “I wish I could be elsewhere” and so on… Why was I so bitter?

Source: Google Image
Source: Google Image

And it came clear to me. I failed to rest my soul on God. I failed to come to Him in prayer, to worship Him, so I ended up complaining about anything that wasn’t going well.

I feel like I’m dwelling in the same spot, and everytime this happen, it’s like God is telling me: My dear child, you are not moving at all, I want to help you not being stuck where you are but you just won’t let me.  And the biggest mistake you could make is believing you can do everything without relying on My Strength.

There are countless self-help books out there showing you how to be the best you but I’m telling you, you are your best you only through Christ. Only Him can make the necessary changes in your life.

Nowadays, everyone is its own god.  Everyone is creating their own beliefs, moving away than ever from God’s authority. Do not make this mistake. The world wisdom is not God’s wisdom. The world wisdom is fleeting but God’s wisdom is eternal.

Source: Google Image
Source: Google Image


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Forgiveness or how to free yourself from emotional wounds

When people are talking about forgiveness, they often say: easy to say, hard to do.  Well, that is especially true when someone hurt you so bad that is it painful to even think about it. In the Bible, it is said to forgive seventy seven times seven which means that you have to forgive everytime.

Well, let me tell you that forgiveness is the best cure against emotional wounds.  When someone hurt your feelings, it automatically create a negative effect on your well-being, you feel shocked, disappointed, angry, sad, and you might end up depressed.  So how can forgiving someone who hurt you so bad can be a relief?

When I was younger, I have dealt with grief and anger toward someone close to me. That person would tell me things that was hard to swallow for the child that I was. I would end up crying all the times.

It took me years to understand that this person was dealing with emotional wounds that he wasn’t aware of.

Then, I decided that no one would ever make me cry again. But before, I had to forgive. During that period, I found a book that was really helpful. It taught me that I had to return all the bad that this person had caused. I had to return the anger, the hate, the guilt, the disappointment. And it had to be symbolic.

So I said: Dear…, I’m giving you back all the anger, the sadness, the hate, the guilt that you caused me. I don’t want to live with them anymore.

But I had to talk to that person to make it clear. I did, he apologized with no conviction but…I was free.

At first, some episodes were coming back but I trusted time to heal me. Now, I do remember but they never came back to haunt me because I did not give them more importance than they had.

Forgiving had improved the relation I had with that person. It helped me understand that I wasn’t guilty in any way but that I shouldn’t let people own emotional problems affect me. I had also understand that what people tells you have the importance that you give them.

Now I’m weighing the decision that I took. It was one of the best decision I have made. I cannot afford to be angry at someone all of my life. It takes time and energy, it takes away your sleep and peace of mind and it even ruins your health. I’m sorry, this is too much to spend on one person.

When I am down, I turn to the great emotional healer of all times: God.

In sorrow, there is a great song I listen to : I look to you by Whitney Houston.